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Etiquette - Shaking Hands, Hugging, or Kissing? It's a dilemna.
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Cheri
Shaking hands, hugging or kissing?
30/10/06
Tags : greetings, etiquette, shaking hands, hugging, kissing
In London I have seen people hugging or kissing when they meet. Is this usual? I am taught that English are reserved and like personal space.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #1
31/10/06
Hi Cheri,
Yes, the reserved, bowler hatted English gentleman is dead. Long live the kissy, huggy English bloke.
Actually you do have to be careful here. Some people have no compunction about invading your personal space, others still prefer a handshake.
My advice is, if you are comfortable with the idea, take the lead from the other person. But, if you don't want a hug, then stick your hand out quickly, before they get too close.
Interestingly, the further up north you go, the less likely you are to see this kind of lovey dovey behaviour.
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Elfish and chips Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #2
12/11/06
Super Member
Hugging is definitely my favourite greeting. :D
ER..it depends who hugs me however. :rolleyes
(\_/)
( '.' )
(")-(")
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #3
12/11/06
So you won't be going out with a plaque offering free hugs then?
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Elfish and chips Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #4
12/11/06
Super Member
I find the idea great but I am afraid some people would pervert it and ask for something else. Do I need to say more?
Unfortunetely we're not living in a gummy world. But I wish...
(\_/)
( '.' )
(")-(")
michelle388hou Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #5
13/12/06
I see where you're going, Elfish. I found it weird that people don't actually give a kiss or something like that in Canada---so different from what I'd heard of and imagined in China. So I consider handshaking is the most common way for greeting whomever you meet. What do you think?
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #6
14/12/06
When you are greeting someone for the first time it's fine, but it is a distancer - it keeps people away from you and so eventually it's no longer appropriate - apart from in Germany, where they shake hands at every opportunity.
Actually it's a known fact that shaking hands spreads more germs than kissing.
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
autonoetic Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #7
19/03/07
I agree with Michelle. Handshaking is the most common way for greeting in Western culture.
Maybe, it's a distancer. I think, the distance is not too far, it's quite right. I don't like this hugging and kissing as standard greeting-procedure. It should be reserved to special persons (e.g. friends, family).
My friend told me an interesting story about handshaking. In former times, it was more than germ spreading. It was the signal that somebody was unarmed.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #8
20/03/07
Yes. And that's exactly why at some point or other the hand shaking has to stop. The most shocking thing I ever saw was a German friend shaking hands with his own father. :eek
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
autonoetic Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #9
20/03/07
Indeed, that's hard.
But, do you know anything about their past relationship? Maybe, they usually were armed. :b
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #10
21/03/07
Good point, but I wouldn't dare ask. LOL
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Mateus Tavares Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #11
14/05/07
In Brazil, it's common
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #12
14/05/07
Which?
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Mateus Tavares Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #13
14/05/07
Hi Lynne
In Brazil, shaking hands is most common although, a lot of people like hugging or kissing.I mean, if you come to Brazil get ready to be touched.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #14
15/05/07
Ooh! I'll have to wear a sign. "I'm British!"
Actually I am a member of the Free Hugs campaign. So, I guess I'll be fine as long as no one gooses me or pinches my bum. That I won't stand for.
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
deementzee Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #15
15/05/07
"Gooses"?
What is the Free Hugs campiagn?
~ana may
Time, the dark whale, spouts blithely from his spiracle a jet of memory that makes glad the sun. ~William Rose Benet
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #16
16/05/07
To goose means to pinch the buttocks. But I always say that for every action there is an equal (in size) and opposite (in direction) reaction.
The free hugs campaign is here.
www.freehugscampaign.org/
Unfortunately like most nice ideas it has run into legal problems. Some people don't like the idea.
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Mateus Tavares Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #17
16/05/07
Don't you worry about it!
We like hugs and kisses but we think the respect is the most important thing.So I'll be fine.I never heard about of the Free Hugs campaign.
Sounds great!
Bye
deementzee Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #18
17/05/07
That's a really great campaign Lynne!!
~ana may
Time, the dark whale, spouts blithely from his spiracle a jet of memory that makes glad the sun. ~William Rose Benet
Rosalind Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #19
20/06/07
Hi,
I thought that I'd give you my imput on this subject, as from what I've gathered you are all from the continent (?). I'm english, and live in the south of england near london.
The people you saw hugging in london were most likely to be good friends already, and in this instance a hand shake would me too formal. When you dont know someone, you either just nod your head acknowledging them, or you shake their hand.
Even with friends its down to the individuals involved. I wouldn't dream of hugging some of my friends, because it would be uncomfortable even though I know them quite well. I have about 5 frinds at most whom I hug. One of my friends doesn't like hugging, or any kind of physical contact really.
With some people, like with your best friends, it is the norm, or a given, that you hug on meeting; whereas with others you might ask for a hug or visa versa.
You only kiss if you are involved with someone. You don't, apart from in some select groups, kiss friends. I don't even kiss my parents.
Therefore, if you are introduced to someone, it is polite to shake their hand for a second or two. Generally, people don't kiss as a form of greeting, and a hug is reserved for those who you are good friends with and have known for a while.
However, the best advise would be to follow the lead of the person whom you are greeting, and it is considered rude or impolite to refuse a handshake/hug/kiss.
Hope that helps,
Rosalind
naveen dhanerwal Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #20
21/06/07
Hello friends,
Everything depends on place and culture. Here in India, it's not accpetable to hug and kiss yet, but handshaking is common. I'm not agreed with Rosalind here; if somebody (especially women) is not comfortable with hug and kiss, then it won't be better to do so. It's better to behave according to the place where you live or visit. You are English, hence you don't know about India and its culture so much. It might possible here to hug and kiss with very close friends but not at public place.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #21
23/06/07
Hi Guys,
Naveen is right. You only have to look at the furore of what happened when Richard Gere decided to hug and kiss Shilpa Shetty - he should have read this thread. And I must say if he grabbed me like that he'd have had a very sore face afterwards, what a bore he showed himself to be.
You may have noticed I like people watching, and the last time I was in the UK I saw a lot of "air kissing" among women meeting in town. You sort of peck at each others cheek, without making any contact. It's a strange thing to watch, especially the noise the person makes, a sort of "mwa mwa" sound.
Another problem I have is when people go for the cheek kiss I always worry about whether they want a one cheek kiss or are they going to head for the second cheek too. And when they go for a third kiss, well I normally fluff that one.
It is a minefield. :p
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
Rosalind Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #22
24/06/07
I totally agree.
ChewKS Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #23
26/06/07
Aye! Better safe than sorry. So stick to something that is commonly use and/or understood; i.e. hand shaking.
-----------------
I've learned that I have a lot more to learn.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking hands, hugging or kissing? #24
26/06/07
Yes, but please don't shake hands with someone if you have a cold.
Your Teacher -
The Learn English Network
SophiaDA #25
03/01/08
Lynne Hand wrote: Yes, the reserved, bowler hatted English gentleman is dead.
imageimageimage
Don't say that, please... image
Lynne Hand wrote:
Another problem I have is when people go for the cheek kiss I always worry about whether they want a one cheek kiss or are they going to head for the second cheek too. And when they go for a third kiss, well I normally fluff that one.
The BBC made this article about the dilemma between one or two kisses :)
In Italy the third kiss is said to bring you good luck :)
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7040259.stm?dynamic_vote=ON#vote_7040259
Lynne Hand #26
03/01/08
Trust the Italians.
SophiaDA #27
03/01/08
image
murmures #28
07/01/08
Lynne Hand wrote:
The BBC made this article about the dilemma between one or two kisses
In Italy the third kiss is said to bring you good luck
Hello,
How about a fourth kiss. In some places in France, we kiss 4 times. You think you have finished with the second kiss but you the other person wainting for more. image
In Spain, people seem to hug easily and warmly. I like it very much.
Lynne Hand #29
07/01/08
Four kisses! The whole thing is fraught with danger, isn't it.
Hugging is good though.
giovanni2111 #30
14/02/08
Four kisses ! Really ! It seems too much...even for Italy. But believe me, Lynne...as Sophia already suggested...in Italy if you don't kiss almost two times it could be sound rather impolite, of course not in business, but among friends. Actually I was kindly scolded for not having given the third kiss many times. You must do it, especially if you kiss women.
If you're Brit, of course, you can just say: "how do you do". LOL
SophiaDA #31
14/02/08
giovanni2111 wrote: If you're Brit, of course, you can just say: "how do you do". LOL
imageimageimage
you are so funny!
Lynne Hand #32
15/02/08
marjan #33
30/11/08
In Iran,shaking hands is most comon but for someone who are close to us there's hugging and kissing.most of women hug and kiss each other here when they meet.
Lynne Hand #34
01/12/08
Hi Marjan,
Thanks for sharing.
Do men ever hug and kiss when they meet?
PS - Most women hug and kiss...
marjan #35
02/12/08
Hi
yes they do it often .they prefer to shake hands
Lynne Hand #36
02/12/08
It's really funny to watch a British male when men around them do that. It's just so rarely done in the UK.
edu Shaking Hands - revisited #37
05/12/08
Hi again teacher Lynne,
I found a posible mistake that I would like to share.
at this url: //www.learnenglish.de/basics/greetings.htm
"Generally we do not shake hands with people we know well"
I think that maybe should say
"Generally we shake hands with people we know well"
Sorry if I am wrong, I have some doubts here. I mean, personally I will like to shake five only with my friends. I am wrong here? Hope to contribute to this awesome site. image
Grettings,
Eduardo.
Lynne Hand Re: Shaking Hands - revisited #38
05/12/08
In the UK we stop shaking hands once we get to know people well. Shaking hands is a way of distancing people and in the past it was used to show you weren't bearing any weapons.
poetria1 Re: Shaking Hands - revisited #39
16/12/08
I see. So in my country it is different. This is interesting.
Lynne Hand #40
31/05/09
I had never realised how difficult it was for men to hug in an appropriate manner:-
General Etiquette: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug
betty1 Kissing hands #41
27/09/09
In my country we have nice tradition: When man know woman he kiss her hand (she give his hand to kiss)...Actually its a litlle bit forgoten...(just elderly man do it)thats pitty....
Sometimes when English gentelman wont to be a smart and he know polish woman he kiss her hand (it is nice)....
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #42
28/09/09
Yes, this is a common custom in our country
betty1 Re: Kissing hands #43
29/09/09
I like it so much:) Do you like it Poetria1?
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #44
30/09/09
Yes, I do It is very gentleman-like
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #45
30/09/09
It does have a nice romantic touch, but I think it will become less popular if the flu comes back.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #46
30/09/09
Very true image But I know the English find it awkward anyway image
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #47
30/09/09
You'd be surprised at what the English get up to nowadays.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #48
30/09/09
I can imagine, e.g. Prince William kissing Kate Middleton's hand image
ddaaiel Re: Kissing hands #49
02/10/09
I could only picture that a man dressing very mediaevally kissed a lady's hand who also wore very mediaevally and possibly there were veils over the lady's hand. Do people still do that nowadays? wearing T-shirt and jeans?
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #50
02/10/09
Yes, Daniel, my friends and colleagues (of course, gentlemen, not ladies) kiss my hand when we meet They aren't old and do wear jeans sometimes
But as I said, this is not common in Europe
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #51
14/10/09
Some our politicians are also very polite http://wiadomosci.gazeta.pl/Wiadomosci/51,80269,7142376.html?i=0
mikke Re: Kissing hands #52
05/02/10
poetria1 wrote: Yes, Daniel, my friends and colleagues (of course, gentlemen, not ladies) kiss my hand when we meet
You weren't joking about this, Poetria, were you?! Because no matter how many times I was in Poland, any gentlement didn't kiss my hand!
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #53
05/02/10
Awww. Never mind Mikke. Maybe you need to simply present your hand to the gentlemen. See what they do.
"Hand-kissing is a ritual of greeting and respect. It is initiated by the person receiving the greeting by holding out her/his hand with the palm facing downward. The person kissing bows towards the offered hand and (symbolically) touches the knuckles with his lips, while lightly holding the offered hand. Note that the lips will not actually touch the hand in modern tradition. The gesture is short, lasting less than a second."
PS -
You weren't joking about this were you, Poetria? Because whenever I've been in Poland, no gentleman has kissed my hand!
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #54
09/02/10
Oh, no, I am not joking Perhaps you haven't met the right ones Just give flowers to this nice gentleman on the photo : http://www.ptneur.org/tfr/photos/ProfJerzyStyka.jpg
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerzy_Styka
But it is true that this custom is rather disappearing This is an article about this (in Polish )
http://www.eioba.pl/a1116..._reke_zanikajacy_obyczaj
Elfish and chips Re: Kissing hands #55
13/02/10
Super Member
My best friend did it once or twice in a theatrical way.
Personally I would not let everybody kiss my hand.
In France we kiss people on the cheeks. Well, actually, we touch people's cheeks with our own cheeks and make a kiss' noise. What I don't like in this custom is that sometimes you have to kiss people you don't like (your colleagues, e.g.) and also when there are many many people it's tiring to kiss everybody. Moreover, according to the regions, you kiss once, twice, thrice or four times!
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #56
14/02/10
Wearing glasses can be a nightmare in France.
Elfish and chips Re: Kissing hands #57
14/02/10
Super Member
Clink - smack - clink -smack!
LOL
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #58
15/02/10
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #59
15/02/10
You got it down to a T.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #60
16/02/10
Oh dear. Your English is beyond me
The expression is actually "down to a tee" or, more commonly simply "to a tee". Either "tee" or "T" will do, but in any case the reference is to the LETTER of the alphabet.
This is clear when you discover the origin of the expression. It's actually a shortened form of "to a tittle", an expression in use in English by the early 17th century, with the meaning "to the smallest detail." (the variation appears by the late 17th century)
The word "tittle" comes from the Latin word for a diacritical mark (and is related to the word "title").
But the key to the meaning of all these expressions was John Wycliffe 14th century English translation of the Latin Bible. In Matthew 5:18, where the Latin has the word "apex" (the original word in the Greek literally means "horn"). Wycliffe chose the word "tittle", thus referring to a tiny pen mark that distinguished a letter.
It was a good choice. In this verse Jesus refers to very small marks on the top of certain Hebrew letters that distinguished them from very similar Hebrew letters, rather like the small stroke that distinguishes our capital Q from a capital O or G from C. (Some modern translations use expressions like "least stroke of a pen" to convey the idea.)
Note that "tittle" in this verse is is the second member of a pair, the now familiar "jot and tittle". The term "jot" renders Greek "iota" -- the name of the small Greek letter "i", though Jesus probably was speaking of the tiny equivalent HEBREW letter "yod".
"Jot" and "tittle" continued to be used in later the 16th century English Bible translations (beginning William Tyndale in the 1520s). Many still know these terms from the King James (1611) translation -- "Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."
So, based on this Biblical "tittle" to refer to tiny details people began to use the expression "to a tittle" --and other later variations of it-- to refer to something done very precisely (that is 'to the smallest detail').
TinaRoss Re: Kissing hands #61
22/02/10
Thanks for the explanation, Poetria!
Both hand-kissing and cheek-kissing are western traditions.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #62
24/02/10
True
jimmygo Re: Kissing hands #63
24/03/10
I'm wondering if you're at a meeting, every gentleman has to or be willing to kiss your hand, is that a cross-kiss activity among all the participants??
Maybe a real gentleman should rub your hand gently with his handkerchief first, and then kiss it:)
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #64
25/03/10
LOL Jimmy
Maybe a real gentleman should rub your hand gently with a handkerchief after he's kissed it.
hermine Re: Kissing hands #65
25/03/10
Hi Jimmy and Lynne,
I like this kind of play and I am wondering who of you will win. Jimmy I think it is your turn.
jimmygo Re: Kissing hands #66
25/03/10
LOL, hermine, don't be such polemical, I won't have any divergence with Lynne on such minor details.
As a gentleman who wants to kiss a nice lady's hand rather than kiss another gentleman's kiss, I would choose the following process:
1. rub her hand gently with a handkerchief;
2. kiss her hand;
3. rub her hand gently with another handkerchief;
4. acknowledge Lynne's improvement to the above process.
hekner Re: Kissing hands #67
25/03/10
jimmygo wrote:
... acknowledge Lynne's improvement to the above process.
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #68
25/03/10
And the handkerchief manufacturers will be happy.
xeb Re: Kissing hands #69
26/03/10
And if the lady wears dress gloves?
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #70
26/03/10
This is not necessary. A gentleman should only pretend to kiss He he.
Handkuss
Der Handkuss ist vom Aussterben bedroht und keine Alltagsgeste. Gekonnt und souverän ausgeführt, kann dieser Begrüßungs- und Abschiedsgruß jedoch sehr charmant sein. Manch ein Kavalier bleibt mit dieser Geste noch nach Jahren in positiver Erinnerung.
Ein perfekter Handkuss - so geht`s
1.
Küssen Sie nicht auf offener Straße, sondern nur in geschlossenen Räumen.
2.
Drehen Sie die Hand der Dame sanft mit dem Handrücken nach oben und heben Sie sie leicht an.
3.
Verbeugen Sie sich und setzen Sie zum Handkuss an. Ihre Lippen sollten die Hand der Dame jedoch nicht berühren. Stattdessen sollten wenige Zentimeter Abstand bleiben.
4.
Verharren Sie einen kurzen Moment in dieser Position und richten Sie sich dann wieder auf.
5.
Früher stand der Handkuss nur verheirateten Frauen zu. Heute gilt: Wer eine Frau per Handkuss begrüßt, muss alle anderen Damen am Tisch auf gleiche Weise begrüßen.
6. Auf dem beruflichen Parkett ist der Handkuss ungeeignet. Verzichten Sie auf jeden Fall bei Tagungen, Meetings und Besprechungen auf diese Geste.
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #71
26/03/10
Hi Xeb,
At least you can wash gloves.
Poetria - you have some translation work to do.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #72
26/03/10
Yes, of course. Only not today. It is too late. I am sleepy
hermine Re: Kissing hands #73
27/03/10
As for me I came to the point where I am glad not to be a man and I have not to care about that strange etikette.
xeb Re: Kissing hands #74
28/03/10
What will happen Hermine, if a man is willing to kiss your hand?
I'm looking forward to your translation Poetria.
hermine Re: Kissing hands #75
28/03/10
Hi xeb, it would be a bit strange to me.
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #76
03/04/10
Sorry for the delay. As I told you, my old router died suddenly and tragically, and I had to install a new one
Der Handkuss ist vom Aussterben bedroht und keine Alltagsgeste. Gekonnt und souverän ausgeführt, kann dieser Begrüßungs- und Abschiedsgruß jedoch sehr charmant sein. Manch ein Kavalier bleibt mit dieser Geste noch nach Jahren in positiver Erinnerung.
Ein perfekter Handkuss - so geht`s
A hand kiss is in danger of dying out and is not an everyday gesture. However, this welcome and farewell greeting, confidently and aptly conducted may be very charming. Many a cavalier can still evoke positive memories years after.
A perfect hand kiss. So it goes:
1.
Küssen Sie nicht auf offener Straße, sondern nur in geschlossenen Räumen.
Don't kiss a lady's hand on an open street but only in closed chambers.
2.
Drehen Sie die Hand der Dame sanft mit dem Handrücken nach oben und heben Sie sie leicht an.
Turn the back of a lady's hand mildly upwards and lift it effortlessly.
3.
Verbeugen Sie sich und setzen Sie zum Handkuss an. Ihre Lippen sollten die Hand der Dame jedoch nicht berühren. Stattdessen sollten wenige Zentimeter Abstand bleiben.
Bow and prepare yourself to kiss. However, your lips mustn't touch a lady's hand. A distance of few centimetres should be kept instead.
4.
Verharren Sie einen kurzen Moment in dieser Position und richten Sie sich dann wieder auf.
Remain in this position for a short while and then straighten up again.
5.
Früher stand der Handkuss nur verheirateten Frauen zu. Heute gilt: Wer eine Frau per Handkuss begrüßt, muss alle anderen Damen am Tisch auf gleiche Weise begrüßen.
In the past, only married ladies were entitled to receive a hand kiss. Now the following rule is in effect: if one greets one lady by kissing her hand, he has to greet all other ladies at the table in the same way.
6. Auf dem beruflichen Parkett ist der Handkuss ungeeignet. Verzichten Sie auf jeden Fall bei Tagungen, Meetings und Besprechungen auf diese Geste.
In professional contacts, a hand kiss isn't appropriate. Give this gesture up during congresses, meetings and conferences.
xeb Re: Kissing hands #77
04/04/10
Thanks Poetria.
Have you ever received a hand kiss?
poetria1 Re: Kissing hands #78
04/04/10
Yes, many times Elderly professors are gallant.
Lynne Hand Re: Kissing hands #79
04/04/10
"Elderly professors are gallant."
Yay! Let's hear it for elderly professors.
pasota #80
23/09/10
This is hilarious! A few years ago, a friend of mine decided that kissing would be his new way to greet friends. (I mean male friends coz in France men and woman usually kiss when greeting). He did it overnight and some of the (male) friends we have in common were so shocked and they actually never got used to it. I'm a man and have no problem with this behaviour, as it's the kind of thing you do with people you feel close to, regardless of the whole "straight guys shouldn't kiss each other" concern some might have. As for the hugs, it's even less widespread were I live.
xeb #81
24/09/10
I'm French and I don't like when non-french people want to kiss my cheeks just because I'm French!!!!
Lynne Hand #82
24/09/10
(both of you).
It is a bit of a minefield. I tend to hang back a bit to see what the other person is going to do.
poetria1 #83
24/09/10
Hi, Xeb,
Kisses
xeb #84
24/09/10
Kisses back.
Lynne Hand #85
25/09/10
And a big group hug.
Newman #86
04/10/10
I'm cool with any type of greeting except males should greet each other only by shaking hands.
Lynne Hand #87
06/10/10
LOL
You and my hubby are of the same opinion.
hermine #88
07/11/10
We have an aunt and she visits us one or two a year. She is a very well-groomed person, she would never drink out of a glass that isn`t crystal clear. Sorry Lynne but I have to say she hasn`t god any kids.
Let me go on, and every time she gives me a hug plus kisses I only think hopefully I do not sweating. I cannot concentrate on the hug plus kisses. She always comes without to make a call and I get everytime a shock I hear she.
I also should mention she is a very nice person and I like to see her, really but I have so much problems when it comes to hugging. Can you understand that.
I mean being a housewife doesn`t say you always will come fresh out of a shower even not when there is a garden and kids who want to be served.
I am not French. (sorry xeb but this must be)!
Lynne Hand #89
09/11/10
I think we all have a scary aunt. I hope I'm not scary.
hermine #90
10/11/10
Lynne, I can really not imagine you could be a scary aunt. Or maybe your teacher face comes to live. hehe
I would say about me I have got different faces, such as: cooking face, learning face, telephon face, teaching face, TV-face, bathroom face (that means I will there spend my time alone), hungry face, after dinner face, in front of me a pile of ironing face ;(.
Lynne Hand #91
11/11/10
Oh I have a "pile of ironing face" too!
Elfish and chips #92
12/11/10
Super Member
I'm glad I don't have to kiss my supervisors. :S
C line #93
15/11/10
Last summer, an American friend of us came for the 1st time in our house. Actually he was like a boss for my husband (not really his direct supervisor, but someone working on a higher position). We all know each other since several years, and we like to meet, but we don't meet often. When he arrived, I was just happy to see him, and I didn't pay attention to my "greetings behaviour", so I gave him 2 kisses. I'm French, so it's very common for me. But he was shocked, he didn't move or say anything for a few seconds. I think shaking hands were "de rigueur": word of the day :-)
Lynne Hand #94
15/11/10
Hi Celine,
I'd have paid to see his face.
Here's a bonus correction:-
Last summer, an American friend of ours visited us for the 1st time. Actually he was like my husband's boss (not really his direct supervisor, but someone working in a higher position). We have all known each other for several years, and we like to meet up, but we don't meet often. When he arrived, I was just happy to see him, and I didn't pay any attention to my "greetings etiquette", so I gave him 2 kisses. I'm French, so it's very common for me. But he was shocked, he didn't move or say anything for a few seconds. I think shaking hands was the "de rigueur": word of the day.
poetria1 #95
16/11/10
smiley: laugh
A Pole would have kissed your hand . It could have been also very funny. smiley: roll
Elfish and chips #96
16/11/10
Super Member
Oh I would love hand kissing. From people I like, that is.
poetria1 #97
17/11/10
C line #98
21/11/10
Thank you Lynne for your help!
His face was worth money :-)
poetria1 #99
22/11/10
But Elfish, I have read that in France "le baisemain" is an expression of respect due only to married women or to ladies of a certain age.
Elfish and chips #100
23/11/10
Super Member
LOL. True! This can't apply to me: I am neither married nor old.
poetria1 #101
26/11/10
smiley: laugh
mohammed.learnenglish #102
18/07/11
In Egypt hugging or kissing is forbidden except when they were between women and women or men and men ,In Islam a man shakes hand with a woman each of them can't pray until they bathe
poetria1 #103
18/07/11
Hi, Mohammed,
Layla, our German tutor in the Goethe Institute has been learning Arabic. She spent six weeks in Alexandria in an Arabic school so she could tell us a lot about Egypt.
Every country has its own customs.
mohammed.learnenglish #104
19/07/11
The new generation in Egypt don't follow the traditions ,they are unaffected by the traditions or the Islam rules because unfortunately, They are very influenced by the Western civilization and it's traditions.
The Western civilization is not bad, But from my point of view it's traditions do not fit the Islamic community.
Lynne Hand #105
19/07/11
- its traditions - not it's = it is.
Which ones?
There is no singular western tradition.
poetria1 #106
19/07/11
Yes, Mohammed,
I think it would be boring if everybody stuck to one tradition.
aima khan hello friends #107
20/07/11
i completely agree with @naveen. All the customs and traditions always depends on the place.like in pakistan usually such customs are neglected like hand shaking and hugging or kissing.different people specially women if hesitate to hug they they certainly cannot be forced to do that.yes u r english and so our concepts and traditionss do not match .
Lynne Hand #108
21/07/11
Ah but in England the traditional greetings have changed. We were much more reserved when I was a child.
mayminaj #109
26/07/11
im a new member here, welcome to me lol
poetria1 #110
26/07/11
Hi, Mayminaj,
I guess you would like to virtually shake hands or kiss us.
Robielee #111
08/08/11
Unlike western nations, hugging and kissing is absolutely unacceptable in our eastern cuntries. But hand shaking is most common. One more thing I find different between our culture is the way hand shake is made. Normally the women here are the people who innitially decide to proceed the shaking or not. For instance, in a meeting between a man and a womam, the lady should be the person give out the hand first if she would like to do it; if not the procedure of greeting will be dismissed.
poetria1 #112
10/08/11
Hi, Robielee,
That's interesting. I didn't know it.
Lynne Hand #113
10/08/11
Cough cough - eastern countries
xeb #114
30/08/11
I've never kissed so many people since I'm in Australia. Gosh!
amatsuforhealth #115
31/08/11
Mentor
How nice!! Has anyone called you 'Shiela'?
xx
- ... since I've been in Australia.
xeb #116
01/09/11
Thanks for the correction Amatsu!
Yes, I'm referred as the French sheila at the bowl club even if they (almost) all have the picture of a French sheila as a blonde person with high red heels and long legs up to the bum. Well, it's all fun. I'm more often referred as the little French bugger though.
amatsuforhealth #117
03/09/11
Mentor
smiley: rollWay to go xeb!!
xx
xeb #118
07/09/11
Yep, I think so.
Lynne Hand #119
08/09/11
LOL
BTW - Do any girls have legs that don't go up to their bum?
xeb #120
09/09/11
LOL - Like men I guess.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #121
09/09/11
LOL - My legs go up to my bum or they did a last time I checked.
Lynne Hand #122
12/09/11
Phew. That's a relief.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #123
12/09/11
Not as much as it was to me, I thought I was legless after too much to drink.
. #124
12/09/11
Yes.... Different countries, different traditions. I think that only people from the mob used to greet each other by hugging here, one could often see it on the streets back then in 90th.
But they have their own culture:
http://englishrussia.com/2007/02/27/russian-mafia-grave-tombs/
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #125
13/09/11
Not sure I'd like to hug a mafia member but if it kept me alive I would.
Lynne Hand #126
13/09/11
Well you know David Cameron says you should hug a hoodie. Maybe "Hug a hood" too?
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #127
14/09/11
I'm not going to hug David Cameron, I might not have a job if his cut backs get more serious.
Lynne Hand #128
15/09/11
Oh that sounds serious. I don't actually know what you "do", but a lot of my friends in the UK are in the same boat as they work for organisations like the ambulance service, or community services etc. It's only slightly better here in Germany, the Euro is teetering on the brink, and so I won't be hugging Mrs Merkel either. Everything is very precarious at the moment.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #129
15/09/11
I work for the local council in the Housing Department.
amatsuforhealth #130
15/09/11
Mentor
Not an easy time Richard! I hope it's not too much of a cull!
xx
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #131
16/09/11
We're ok at the moment but we still have to cut millions from our budget over the next couple of years, who knows what will happen. Watch this space.
amatsuforhealth #132
16/09/11
Mentor
Doesn't it make you cross when you then hear that the people/institutions who were a major cause in all this are STILL not learning or changing their behaviour? I know I'm struggling!smiley: mad
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-14950873
xx
Lynne Hand #133
21/09/11
Okay I've split the earlier part of the discussion into "Money" under "The Euro".
Back to shaking hands, hugging or kissing.
Flu season is coming, so the doctor has a sign in his office that says he won't shake hands with anyone.
hermine #134
22/09/11
That`s interesting, Lynne. I wonder how he will touch you. Does he have a robot?
Lynne Hand #135
25/09/11
It is a bit odd, but at the same time comforting. At least he is aware how germs are spread.
mheredge #136
07/10/11
Here people don't hug (they shake hands though). Only foreigners hug eachother, and although it's sort of okay in Kathmandu, it's frowned upon a bit out in the countryside.And kissing - well I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone do it, at least certainly not in public.
Lynne Hand #137
08/10/11
No hugs! No kisses! Shocking!
mheredge #138
09/10/11
In Kathmandu it's almost okay and trendy young Nepalis have caught on to the habit. But then it's always a bit of a shock as it's still very unusual. Nepalis who have contact with tourists and are friends might give a hug, but even long standing friends tend to be more formal and just stick to shaking hands.
Lynne Hand #139
12/10/11
mheredge #140
13/10/11
Great!
I had my hand kissed by a couple of very galant Polish doctors the other week. That was a first time and it was very elegantly done.
They talked about the double kiss and the double-double kiss of the south of France, but what about the three kisses (two one side and one the other) that some of my cousins from the west of France seem to practice. It gets very confusing especially if you don't know which part of the France people come from (and I can never remember who kisses four times, three times or only twice. And then some people just go for a kiss on one side. It's so complicated that maybe there are advantages in hand shaking. Though there's nothing worse than the limp and damp handshake!
poetria1 #141
13/10/11
Oh yes, there are nice Polish gentlemen. This custom is dying though.
Lynne Hand #142
13/10/11
All this cheek kissing is dangerous if both parties wear glasses.
poetria1 #143
13/10/11
It is also dangerous if a dogue wants to kiss you. My cousin's dogue was so eager to greet me that I nearly lost my glasses. Not to mention feeling pain in my cheek for a whole day
mheredge #144
14/10/11
I met them again this morning - so charming!
Ugh, I really would not like to have a dog slobber all over me! Yuk.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #145
14/10/11
One of our cats is always trying to give me a kiss.
poetria1 #146
14/10/11
Cats are rather small. My cousin has a dog like that in the photo (but a black one): http://www.google.pl/imgr...sp=21&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0
He is very friendly .
mheredge #147
16/10/11
Cats are not so bad and I like the feel of their dry, rough tongues.There's a cat meowing outside right now as I'm typing.
Lynne Hand #148
16/10/11
Just for Marianne:-
http://www.psychologytoda...an-dogs-help-humans-heal
BTW - Licking has not become a common method of greeting among humans.
poetria1 #149
16/10/11
My doggie licks me sometimes. I think it is very nice of her. I like cats too, Marianne. I had a tomcat where I lived in Germany.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #150
18/10/11
It's ok being licked by a cat or dog until you think that it might have been licking it's bum before it's licked you.
mheredge #151
18/10/11
Richard!
I've always thought saliva is supposed to having healing tendencies, but not sure why. When I cut my finger, it's instinctively to lick the wound (or at least it is for me). Does that make me a cannibal?
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #152
19/10/11
Marrianne
Most people lick wounds when they are bleeding, that doesn't make you a cannibal.
mheredge #153
20/10/11
But you're licking human blood!
Lynne Hand #154
27/10/11
As long as it's only your own, I don't think it matters. It's when you start licking your lips when someone else is bleeding that you may have to worry.
mheredge #155
28/10/11
I was teasing. After all, it's your body and licking your wound like that can be the only way to clean it and help them heal.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #156
28/10/11
It's a good job we don't greet each other with a lick just think how messy it could get if you had to greet lots of people.
poetria1 #157
28/10/11
This is in German but to the point. Our prime minister kisses Angela Merkel's hand:
http://www.sueddeutsche.d...e-des-respekts-1.1175231
Lynne Hand #158
29/10/11
@Poetria - For a bit too long.
poetria1 #159
29/10/11
smiley: roll Yes, they said 'passionately'. smiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: roll
mheredge #160
04/11/11
I don't understand! I'm sure I've posted at least twice, something about how maybe they were already good friends. Where did those posts disappear to?
Sonia.learnenglish Hi there #161
31/01/12
In Indonesia the modern way to greet someone we know is shaking hands. But if you meet one of your best friend or someone you know closely, we usually do hugging.
When first time i came here, i met one of my husband friend's wife. She suddenly gave me a very depth hug and kissing my cheeks. I felt weird and surprised. But i feel nice and welcome.
Because i normally only say "hello" with waving hand gesture if met friends. (Well, i never really give passionate hug)
For Javanese people specially Muslim,their way a little bit different.
For them is very taboo (we called it "haram") to shake hand, hugging and kissing for opposite sex.
What they did was put each hand (just like praying but all fingers were together closely) and they bumping their hands towards people's hand that they meet with a little bit bowing, after bowing they touch their heart with right hand.
I hope you get the idea. anyway it's fun to know other culture.Happy
javienglish84 #162
31/01/12
In Spain that depend on the sex of the people. If any of them is a girl/woman then two kisses are given, but if they both are men then they use handshake. Sometimes, not usually, if those men are close relatives they can kiss twice too (but if they aren't relatives people might think they are gay Grin).
If it's just a work meeting then people would just handshake. So it's quite impolite to shake hands with a woman, unless you have just met her in a work environment or she belongs to the monarchy (protocol says you can't kiss the Queen of Spain).
Hugs are reserved for your couple (girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband) or for friends when you haven't seen them for long. Grouphug
Lynne Hand #163
31/01/12
Hi Sonia,
That's very interesting. Here's a bonus correction:-
In Indonesia the modern way to greet someone we know is by shaking hands, but if you meet one of your best friends or someone you know well, we usually hug.
When I first came here, I met the wife of one of my husband's friends. She suddenly gave me a huge hug and kissed my cheeks. I felt weird and surprised, but I felt nice and welcome at the same time.
I normally only say "hello" with a waving hand gesture when I meet friends. (Well, i never really give a passionate hug).
For Javanese people, especially Muslims, their way is a little different. For them it is taboo (we called it "haram") to shake hands, hug or kiss someone of the opposite sex. What they do is put each hand (just like praying but all fingers close together) and then they lower their hands towards the other person's hand till they meet, with a little bow, after bowing they touch their heart with their right hand.
I hope you get the idea. anyway it's fun to learn about other cultures.
Lynne Hand #164
31/01/12
Hi Javi,
Here's a bonus correction:-
In Spain it depends on the sex of the people. If any of them is a girl/woman then two kisses are given, but if they are both men then they use a handshake. Sometimes, but not usually, if those men are close relatives they can kiss twice too (but if they aren't relatives people might think they are gay).
If it's just a work meeting then people would just shake hands, and it's quite impolite to shake hands with a woman, unless you have just met her in a work environment, or she belongs to the monarchy (protocol says you can't kiss the Queen of Spain).
Hugs are reserved for your couples (girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband) or for friends whom you haven't seen for a long time.
shikhady #165
31/01/12
Super Member
In India, traditionally people greet in a way as explained by Sonia for Muslims, but in today's modern era, they can shake hands, hug or just casually say "hi". This is not allowed with opposite sex if you're in a conservative locality or family, even if you're married couples (They say don't show your romance publicly in front of your elders ). High classes people don't bother about such things.
amatsuforhealth #166
31/01/12
Mentor
Hi shikhady
Here's a bonus correction for you. It's very interesting to learn about other cultures from real people rather than news or papers!
xx
In India, people traditionally greet each other as Muslims in the way explained by Sonia but in today's modern era, they can also shake hands, hug or just casually say "hi". However this is not allowed with opposite sex if you live in a conservative locale or family, even if you're a married couple. (They say don't show your romantic side publicly in front of your elders ). High class people don't bother about such things.
mheredge #167
01/02/12
I've been shaking hands with people here, teachers and so on, but hugging friends as this is acceptable even in public in the UK. I don't usually hug people in Nepal as this is frowned upon by conservative local people.
amatsuforhealth #168
01/02/12
Mentor
I have friends from Spain/France and it's hilarious how we can never get the number right! If I go for 2 they go for 1, I go for 1, they want 3 and vice versa! We must look very comical sometimes!
xx
Lynne Hand #169
03/02/12
People can be met with some strange words in the UK, from complete strangers, these include the following:-
babe
darling
sweetheart
sweety
doll
love
duck
pet
hen
angel
mate
son
sonny
pal
bud
Are there any similar words in your country, and how would you feel if someone greeted you in this way.
mheredge #170
03/02/12
Even in different parts of France there's controversy over whether it's two or three....
amatsuforhealth #171
03/02/12
Mentor
It's nice that something can have so much variety! We need to keep it .
xx
Sameer123 #172
03/02/12
Hi Lynne and everybody,
I hope you are all doing well. This is indeed a nice topic. I have read all above posts and learnt something new. Now I am also going to write something related to that.
We usually shake hand with our friends, colleague and other people who are not very close or should I say we shake hand with everybody, whom we meet, with Hi to greet them.
I also like to share one more way to greet, which are very popular in northern India especially in East Utter Pradesh state, is Ram Ram (Name of Lord Shri Ram). Rural area’s people use Ram Ram instead of Hi and Hello to greet each other.
In India, we usually touch feet our parents and elder family members e.g. elder brother, sister.
When close friends meet after a long time, they usually shake hand and hug. Shaking hand with opposite sex in rural area is still not very common but it’s very common in urban areas.
Hugs and kisses are mostly use by couples.
jesi #173
04/02/12
Hi there. We shake hands with strangers and new acquaintances and we hug or cheek-kiss with old friends. In the Philippines, it is customary to touch the back of the elder's hands lightly on the forehead as sign of respect or greeting.
amatsuforhealth #174
04/02/12
Mentor
Hi jesi and Sameer
In both your cultures respect is shown to the elderly. How lovely! I wish we had more of that here in England! Maybe as our elderly population grows there will be more respect shown. Or maybe it will get worse as younger people start to resent the support they need!
xx
jessP #175
04/02/12
Hi !
I need you for some questions please =)
* How do people greet each other in California ? Do they shake hands, bow, kiss, ?
* Do they use first names for close friends and family?
* How do you/they address people who are older than you?
*How do you/they address teachers in California ?
*Is eye contact important when having a conversation in California?
*What topics of conversation would you/they discuss (or avoid) at a party or other social
activity in California (ex. politics, religion, family, money, work, etc.)
jesi #176
04/02/12
Hi there amatsu! Yes it is a tradition in our country but I think the tradition is also going fast to the dogs. I feel remorseful about it. I have high hopes the tradition will be preserved.
Sameer123 #177
04/02/12
Hi Jesi and Amatsu,
I think same as Jesi. One more thing I would like to share with you guys. Indian culture says Guest is God. We treat Foreigners with more politely. Government keeps educating people to respect Foreigner. There is a famous phrase in India Atithi devo bhavah that means The guest is God.
I really like and enjoy to talk and know the foreigners people and here I got this golden chance.
Guys, I have not been getting any response from teacher from a few days back. Is she on leave or something else? If you know please let us know.
Thanks and regards
Sameer Singh
mheredge #178
05/02/12
Hi Sameer
In Nepal this is the same. I always hope that foreign guests realise how they must behave and not abuse this respect that people give them. I'm sort of on leave as I'm travelling around in the UK, and I think Lynne too, is not always around. Keep practising speaking English when you meet foreigners. It's a good way to learn.
jessP #179
05/02/12
I'm so sad ='(, nobody want to answer me ? =$
Sameer123 #180
05/02/12
Hi Mheredge and JessP,
I hope you all are doing well.
Mheredge, thank you very much for your advice. It's nice to know that you are travelling around in the UK. I am dying to visit UK.
Jessp, don't be sad, always be happy because you cannot get anything to be sad.
If I know well about California's culture, I surely answered you before. But I don't know much about California's culture because I am from India. I am trying to answer your question but I am not sure they are absolutely right.
* How do people greet each other in California ? Do they shake hands, bow, kiss, ?
I think people greet each other by shaking hand
* Do they use first name for close friends and family?
Mostly people use last name.
* How do you/they address people who are older than you?
They address people by their last name. For example if they want to address Sameer Singh, they would say Mr. Singh
*How do you/they address teachers in California ?
I am not sure but I think they say teacher
*Is eye contact important when having a conversation in California?
Eye contact is most important during the conversation. Eye contact shows your confident, your attitude etc. I would say again eye contact is most important.
*What topics of conversation would you/they discuss (or avoid) at a party or other social
Sorry I have no idea
activity in California (ex. politics, religion, family, money, work, etc.)
I think all activities occur in California. But every person has their own activity. I mean to say it’s depending on person's interest.
Regards
Sameer Singh
Lynne Hand #181
05/02/12
Hi Jess,
Unfortunately I'm not sure if anyone here is from California. (I can only speak for Brits).
jessP #182
05/02/12
Thank you very much =)
mheredge #183
09/02/12
Actually Sameer, I find Americans can be a lot less formal than Brits and sometimes use first names much more easily, that can be a bit offputting in a professional or workplace environment when you don't know the person very well.
Eye contact is important and this is often where East and West can find it hard to communicate. Unless you meet the person's eyes when you talk, this can be seen as a sign that you're not paying attention or that you are avoiding looking at them, that then might have all sorts of other connotations like you're not telling the truth or can't be trusted.
As for subjects for conversation, this is where small-talk comes in useful. I think the safest topic is the weather and almost anyone will respond to opening lines like " what a beautiful day" or "a bit cold today, isn't it?"
For addressing teachers, I'm not quite sure how they'd address them in America, but I think usually quite formally like in the UK, when Miss so and so is more likely than being on first name terms. I know talking with a friend's daughters the other week, they was saying how in Australia they normally addressed teachers formally, so they were a bit disconcerted when told to address one particular teacher on first name terms, which she didn't feel was right at all. (Kids can be very conservative about things like this!)
But JessP, like Lynne says, being Brits, this might not be 100 percent accurate. I think Californians compared with Americans from many other states tend to be more liberal and easy-going, so might be less formal than say, an American from New England or somewhere else.
shikhady My Homework #184
10/02/12
Super Member
Lynne Hand wrote:People can be met with some strange words in the UK, from complete strangers, these include the following:-
babe
darling
sweetheart
sweety
doll
love
duck
pet
hen
angel
mate
son
sonny
pal
bud
Are there any similar words in your country, and how would you feel if someone greeted you in this way.
I belong to India and here, people use words like pal, buddy, guys, gals, bro, sis, etc. to greet someone informally and mam, sir, madam, etc. to greet formally from strangers. I would never like to be called by above mentioned words if the next person is completely strange to me. But if it's someone known to me, it depends on the level of relationship.
mheredge #185
15/02/12
Up near where Richard lives, people sometimes call strangers 'me duck' or 'ducky' which I thought was very odd the first time I was addressed that way. Down south, no one would use these terms.
ejump #186
28/02/12
naveen dhanerwal wrote:Hello friends,
Everything depends on place and culture. Here in India, it's not accpetable to hug and kiss yet, but handshaking is common. I'm not agreed with Rosalind here; if somebody (especially women) is not comfortable with hug and kiss, then it won't be better to do so. It's better to behave according to the place where you live or visit. You are English, hence you don't know about India and its culture so much. It might possible here to hug and kiss with very close friends but not at public place.
Agree with naveen. It's depends on place and their culture. In Malaysia also, people will think you are pervert if you kiss and hug a men or women that unrelated with you.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #187
29/02/12
Hi Marrianne you are so right we do say "me duck" in the Midlands that's just the way we are just trying to be friendly. It doesn't work though people just give you a funny look just saying hello so saying "ay up me duck" scares them a little.
mheredge #188
02/03/12
I must say I did find it amusing to be addressed as a duck on the buses in Leicester Richard.
In France, I have a problem with the number of kisses you're expected to give when you greet people. Some go for two, one on each cheek; some go for three and some for four, depending on where in France you are and I suppose what their habit is.
Even at work, in the office, colleagues greet eachother in this way rather than a more formal handshake.
In the UK some people affect the French way of greeting, or use one peck to the cheek.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #189
02/03/12
When did you visit Leicester Marrianne? I work in Leicester, so near and I missed you.
Lynne Hand #190
03/03/12
Hi Marianne,
Ha ha! I read "dressed as a duck".
Hi Richard,
Maybe we should have a real life meet up one day, and put some faces to names. Of course I will be very disappointed if you don't look like your avatar.
mheredge #191
03/03/12
Quack!
Oh years ago Richard. My first serious boyfriend came from Leicester, me duck.
Hee haw! When I get back to Kathmandu I'll add an avatar....
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #192
05/03/12
Hi Lynne
Oh dear you'll be disappointed I don't look like a bit like my avatar Hee Haw.
Hi Marianne
I've lived near Leicester all my life we could have crossed paths without even knowing, wouldn't that be spooky.
Lynne Hand #193
06/03/12
So Richard, you would wave at Marianne if you saw her.
Back on topic:-
A package of health advice from the British Olympic Association's medical team is to avoid shaking hands in order to prevent catching anything nasty. In fact they have a list of stuff, from cutlery to door handles, which could have unwanted bugs lurking on them in the densely populated Olympic village.
I spy someone with a real problem behind this. They probably carry disinfectant wipes in their pocket.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #194
06/03/12
That sounds like Monk in the tv series from America, Adrian Monk wipes his hands every time he shakes them.
Just so you don't feel left out Lynne.
mheredge #195
06/03/12
There's a high chance our paths may have crossed Richard. Strange things happen to me like that all the time. I was sitting in a pub near my home in London when I got chatting with a guy sitting at the next table who lives in Dubai, but was visiting his daughter who lives nearby. It turned out he used to work (in Dubai) with a Nepali friend of mine who I know in Kathmandu. London has 10 million people and goodness knows how many pubs, and I sit next to someone who used to employ a friend in Kathmandu? That's spooky.
Lynne Hand #196
20/03/12
He he Richard. I like Monk.
Marianne,
That's why we have the saying, "It's a small world." It's not really that "spooky" either; the theory "six degrees of separation" states that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called "Chains.
In 1967, American sociologist Stanley Milgram devised a new way to test the theory, which he called "the small-world problem." He randomly selected people in the mid-West to send packages to a stranger located in Massachusetts. The senders knew the recipient's name, occupation, and general location. They were instructed to send the package to a person they knew on a first-name basis who they thought was most likely, out of all their friends, to know the target personally. That person would do the same, and so on, until the package was personally delivered to its target recipient. Although the participants expected the chain to include at least a hundred intermediaries, it only took (on average) between five and seven intermediaries to get each package delivered. Milgram's findings were published in Psychology Today and inspired the phrase.
mheredge #197
21/03/12
That's really interesting Lynne. I'd heard of the theory but didn't know where it came from. In a way I'd expect it to be easier when it's in one country, but if anything, I think the degrees of separation might even reduce when you go cross-border. It might be an interesting subject to research!
Lynne Hand #198
24/05/12
So, I was right.
The handshake is an endangered species.
mheredge #199
24/05/12
So hugging and pecking on the cheek isn't unhygienic? Especially in winter I think it's a lot better to keep people you don't know very well at arm's length....
Lynne Hand #200
24/05/12
I was once told that a full on kiss was less unhygienic. The source may have been suspect though. "Go on - give us a kiss, it's more hygienic."
offlinemheredge #201
25/05/12
I suppose it depends on who you're kissing and when.
Lynne Hand #202
26/05/12
.... and where.
hermine #203
27/05/12
a frog, in the afternoon, by a pound Who are they?
hermine #204
27/05/12
Oh I was wrong they didn`t kiss there each other it was in the girl`s bedroom where she throw it on the wall.
Lynne Hand #205
27/05/12
He he, Hermine. I can see you've been thinking long and hard about this.
hermine #206
27/05/12
yes, but something was wrong... pond, threw
mheredge #207
27/05/12
I've been trying for years to catch a nice frog to kiss in the hope he'll turn into a prince, but all they seem to do is turn into toads....
hermine #208
27/05/12
hehe Marianne. Poor toads I hope you do not throw the animals on the wall as the Pirncess in `The Frog Prince`did.
mheredge #209
29/05/12
Oh no, not even a toad deserves that sort of treatment. I don't like cruelty to animals (except I show no mercy to insects like mosquitoes).
hermine #210
30/05/12
I have no mercy with fat nervous, black, flies. Recently a pan with meat was left onto the cooker and it was covered with a foil of aluminium. I heard a sound and lifted the sheet what do you mean came out, yes it was this fat fly. Ugly beast.
When I have Sauerkraut in a pot the flies come in in army. I have to nail all windows, doors, keylocker.
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I have no mercy with fat nervous, black, flies. Recently I left a pan with meat on the cooker, it was covered with foil. I heard a sound and lifted the foil, and what do you think came out, yes it was this fat fly. Ugly beast.
When I have Sauerkraut in a pot the flies come in as an army. I have to nail all the windows and doors shut, and block up the keyholes.
.
hermine #211
30/05/12
ehm, keyhole
mheredge #212
31/05/12
Some places in Nepal are so dirty and then the flies drive me crazy. I found that the spray I use to repel mosquitoes works for flies too. Even if they don't bite, I hate the sensation when they land on me and they are so dirty.
If there's even a single blue bottle buzzing around indoors, I hunt it down mercilessly, preferably to swat it dead or sometimes to zap it with the spray.
If you ever watched the cartoon, the Pink Panther, he was also very adverse to flies. My father used to call my mother the Pink Panther when she used to go into the attack on flies.
Yenyan One kiss, two kisses or three? #213
20/06/12
In Venezuela we say hello with one kiss. Sometimes, when is the first time you meet someone, you shake hands and also one give one kiss (with hands taken). Now I'm living in Spain, and I found this custom extrange. Also, when we receive visits from Venezuela in Spain, the number of kisses is a problem: they give one, and we two... Sometimes you ended kiss in a wrong place! I think it's all about culture, nothing is right, nothing is wrong. The important thing is feel confortable!
Lynne Hand #214
20/06/12
Hi Yenyan,
Welcome to the forum.
"Sometimes you ended up kissing the wrong place!" That is a major problem - especially when you wear glasses.
Yenyan #215
20/06/12
Thank you Lynne! Sometimes, when we are sads, just a little hug from a friend, saying "hello" it's a good medicine!
mheredge #216
20/06/12
I don't think it should be only if you are sad. Hugs are good medicine any time!
hermine #217
21/06/12
I am not a great huger but I like when someone puts its hand on my back or strokes me.
mheredge #218
21/06/12
I don't like hugging just anyone, but when the person is a friend, then it's very nice. And I can understand why some cats purr when you stroke them!
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #219
21/06/12
Hi Hermine, don't you mean "I like it when someone puts their hand on my back or strokes me" it's hand sounds like a monster is touching you.
Surely stroking you is a bit intimate for just anyone to do.
hermine #220
21/06/12
Yes Richard you are quite right. But the thought a monster would be so nice and tender why not.
mheredge #221
27/06/12
I must say, I think I can understand why cats purr so loudly when they are stroked. If someone stroked me in the same way I'm sure I'd be purring my head off too.
hermine #222
28/06/12
I lost a bet and my daughter forces me to kiss our cat. I told her I will do it when I am on my own with him. I am going to give a kiss on my fingers and then put it on his fur. I am glad I didn`t arrange a kiss from mouth to muzzle.
mheredge #223
30/06/12
Probably not a good idea - you just don't know where kitty has been sticking his nose. But cats are generally pretty clean, always preening themsleves, so I would prefer being affectionate with a cat to a dog.
Lynne Hand #224
30/06/12
I never knew cats have muzzles. I knew dogs did, but it seems cats do too! I always used to say nose.
mheredge #225
01/07/12
Cats can be naughty and bite too. I had a biting cat and eventually she had to be put down as cats can carry rabies and there would always be a risk she might pass it on if she came into contact with a rabid animal.
Lynne Hand #226
01/07/12
Awww. That's sad.
There are rabies warning signs all over this area of Germany. It was very worrying when we first came here, well - once I learnt what Tollwut meant.
mheredge #227
02/07/12
Any time any animal draws blood here, people go straight to the hospital to get treated as from time to time you can hear about people dying from rabies. It's on the increase in Kathmandu due to all the street dogs. Hindus won't kill them, so they tend to multiply at an alarming rate, with only one small charity doing its best to neuter as many as it can.
Lynne Hand #228
02/07/12
There have been a couple of cases in the UK where rabies was misdiagnosed. People were bitten on holiday and then when they presented with symptoms in the UK, they were just sent home with an aspirin.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-18192494
mheredge #229
03/07/12
A lovely story yesterday of a little street pup that was making his home at the hotel where I'm staying for the last few days. The owner loves animals and is so kind to them. He was giving it a bath and cleaning away the dead fleas and dirt when a Tibetan lady was passing and saw the clean, but very wet pup. She immediately fell for the little dog and asked if she could look after it. Raj said that even though the dog was soaking wet still, the lady didn't care and just cuddled the little puppy. He reckoned she'll take care of the dog but was still a little sorry to part with the pup. The dog had only been here a few days but already had won everyone's heart (even mine).
Lynne Hand #230
03/07/12
Marianne, are you sure you don't like dogs?
mheredge #231
04/07/12
Humpf - yesterday you'd have seen my aversion to dogs when what looked like a street dog came barging into the tiny cafe where I was with some friends. We tried to shoo it out but it wanted to lay down right in the middle of the place. Eventually we managed to get it out but I was not happy.
Some dogs can win my heart - very occasionally!
Lynne Hand #232
04/07/12
Marianne! Let sleeping dogs lie.
Richard Hutton.happynature41553 #233
05/07/12
I was bitten by a dog going to work one day, the owner said I had a coat on like the postman and the dog didn't like the postman. I had a go to the hospital just to make sure i was ok.
mheredge #234
05/07/12
In Kathmandu the dogs all go crazy when anyone with a bicycle passes by as they don't like the Indian peddlars who come with their bikes to sell their wares. Tough for those of us who just want to ride our bikes past as we get attacked too. I think the Indian street sellers often throw stones at the dogs which is probably why the dogs hate them so much.
Lynne Hand #235
06/07/12
I've never been bitten badly, but I've been nipped a few times. The owner of the dog sounds pretty daft Richard, there's no excuse for allowing your dog to bite someone. I hope this didn't put you off dogs.
mheredge #236
07/07/12
I think one reason I'm not keen on dogs is that when I was quite small, the bulldog that was guard-dog to the railway sports' club grounds used to bark fiercely whenever we kids used to go anywhere near the end of my street that led to the sports ground.
Children being children, the biggest dare was to run into the field and then run away when the dog came near. Of course all the other kids were much older than I was (I was maybe not much more than a toddler) so I was left behind.
Not quite breakfast for the bull dog, but he put his paws on my little shoulders and pushed me over. Then he stood slobbering over me until the groundsman came up, waving his fist at the other children who'd all withdrawn back into the street, knowing the dog would never come out the gate (it was well-trained). I wasn't hurt but I was pretty badly scared.
Lynne Hand #237
08/07/12
I can imagine. It sounds as if you were lucky he wasn't hungry that day.
mheredge #238
11/07/12
Just as well! Of course all the other kids were laughing their heads off, mean lot. Didn't get much sympathy from my mum either, as she was saying it was my own fault for going in the field. Which I suppose it was.
Just as well the red pandas were a lot more civilised when I went into their cage this morning.
Lynne Hand #239
12/07/12
I'm so jealous.
Back on topic - How did they greet you?
mheredge #240
13/07/12
Well one little chap came right up to my toes and started eating his bamboo leaves within inches of me, without batting an eyelid. There was one cute little fellow who was badgering the keeper a bit for some honey but was quite nice about it, and didn't bare his teeth like you'd expect a bear to do.
amatsuforhealth #241
16/07/12
Mentor
We were tidying the garden yesterday and a young robin came within inches of us! He was so cute and even better, he was eating the red ants!
image
2012 07 15 13 gardening - more help! by amatsuscribbler, on Flickr
image
2012 07 15 16 gardening - ant eater!! by amatsuscribbler, on Flickr
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2012 07 15 17 gardening - beautiful! by amatsuscribbler, on Flickr
Lynne Hand #242
17/07/12
Very cute.
mheredge #243
17/07/12
Who needs pesticides when nature can do it for you. I used to have a robin in my back garden. I think they can be very territorial.
hermine #244
19/07/12
Hello Amatsu,
The bird is quite naughty to remain so close to humans. I reckon his hunger was bigger than its shyness.
mheredge #245
20/07/12
Animals are very adaptable and if they're used to humans, stupidly don't fear us like they should!
amatsuforhealth #246
23/07/12
Mentor
Hi hermine
He is a very young robin, not yet fully grown. We have two cats and I have threatened them with instant annihilation if they go near him!!
baraah #247
31/07/12
in my country we just shaking hands, and if we met someone that we raelly miss we hug and kiss him Happy
mheredge #248
03/08/12
Do you think your cats will obey, given half a chance to catch the little robin amatsu?
TinaRoss #249
20/08/12
Have changed my idea now...
Handsome guys = kissing
Lovely women = hugging
Other people = shaking hands
>v
mheredge #250
21/08/12
I'm never quite sure what to do when a monk offers his hand to shake hands, as I thought that it was not etiquette to touch a monk! I suppose if he offers, then it must be okay.
mattbaxter #251
16/09/12
I think English people are becoming more open.
They often hug these days.
But some men are still shy, like me!
mheredge #252
16/09/12
I guess men in Britain hug each other more than the older generation used to, but whether this is something they've picked up from our Latin cousins across the water, I don't know. I feel a bit uncomfortable to see too much hugging in public now, regardless of where I am, as her in Asia it's almost unseen. I never used to even notice before.
mheredge #253
08/12/12
Here in Sicily guys kiss eachother on the cheek, one on each side. So far I've seen more guys greeting eachother in this way than women or mixed couples.
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Here in Sicily guys kiss each other on the cheek, one on each side. So far I've seen more guys greeting each other in this way than women or mixed couples.
mheredge #254
05/03/13
In Ladakh most people seem to shake hands as a greeting, though older people hold up one hand in front of their face and say 'Julley.' Julley is a greeting used to say hello, goodbye and to say thank you.
Lynne Hand #255
05/03/13
Interesting Marianne. Must make life confusing sometimes.
mheredge #256
07/03/13
When was handshaking invented? Is it a 'class' thing? I guess older people from the villages don't go in for that sort of way of greeting each other.
Lynne Hand #257
12/03/13
A handshake is a short ritual in which two people grasp one of each other's like hands, in most cases accompanied by a brief up and down movement of the grasped hands.
Archaeological ruins and ancient texts show that handshaking was practised in ancient Greece as far back as the 5th century BC.
The handshake is thought by some to have originated as a gesture of peace by demonstrating that the hand holds no weapon. Usually a handshake is made with bare hands.
The handshake is commonly done upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations, expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement. In sports or other competitive activities, it is also done as a sign of good sportsmanship. Its purpose is to convey trust, balance, and equality.
There are various customs surrounding handshakes, both generically and specific to certain cultures:
In Anglophone countries, in business situations, and in casual non-business situations, men are more likely to shake hands than women.
In Belgium, handshakes are done more often, especially on meetings.
In Switzerland, it may be expected to shake the women's hands first.
Austrians shake hands when meeting, often including with children.
In Russia, a handshake is rarely performed by opposite sexes. Man shaking hands with women can be considered impolite, since hand-kissing is preferred as a ritual for greeting a lady. However, kissing the hand is considered unsuitable for business situations.
In some countries such as Turkey or the Arabic-speaking Middle East, handshakes are not as firm as in North America and Europe. Consequently, a grip which is too firm will be considered as rude.
Moroccans also give one kiss on each cheek (to corresponding genders) together with the handshake. Also, in some countries, a variation exists where instead of kisses, after the handshake the palm is placed unto the heart.
In China, where a weak handshake is also preferred, people shaking hands will often hold on to each other's hands for an extended period after the initial handshake.
In Japan, it is appropriate to let the Japanese initiate the handshake, and a weak handshake is preferred.
In Norway, where a firm handshake is preferred, people will most often shake hands when agreeing on deals, both in private and business relations.
In South Korea, a senior person will initiate a handshake, where it is preferred to be weak. It is a sign of respect to grasp the right arm with the left hand when shaking hands.
The Hand Hug is a type of handshake popular with politicians, as it can present them as being warm, friendly, trustworthy and honest. This type of handshake involves covering the clenched hands with the remaining free hand, creating a sort of "cocoon."
Source: Wikipedia
mheredge #258
21/03/13
It's very interesting how different handshakes are depending on cultures.
For me, the limp sweaty handshake is the one that makes me want to cringe.
Raghnall #259
21/04/13
And here in Poland, the men kiss women's hands
image
mheredge #260
21/04/13
A friend greeted me with a firm handshake this morning. Somehow this seems a lot more assertive than the more commony used 'Namaste.'
hermine #261
21/04/13
Hi Marianne, I reckon you wanted a tongue kiss, want`t you?
I need some explanation about those two words: commony and Namaste.
mheredge #262
26/04/13
Sorry - commonly (not commony).
Namaste is a greeting using in India and Nepal where the person clasps both hands in front of their chest or face, bowing slightly. It means something along the lines of 'with respect of the god within you'. More casually 'namas' is said instead, or more formally, like to an elder or someone of a higher rank, 'namaskar' is used.
Lynne Hand #263
07/05/13
I think Raghnall's image might not be assertive, but it's certainly more romantic.
mheredge #264
08/05/13
I'm not so used to seeing embrace publicly, as in Nepal this is not very common. In fact if a couple kiss in public it can even been seen as embarrassing and offensive behaviour. It's still very conservative though in Kathmandu people are more likely to look away and turn a blind eye to it. Unfortunately it tends to confirm the view that western women are all sluts. In India in particular, this often leads to hassle.
Lynne Hand #265
15/05/13
So the Free Hugs campaign hasn't taken off in Nepal yet.
mheredge #266
16/05/13
Unfortunately no. Nothing nicer than big hug! But I was able to hug my friends (all ladies) yesterday when I said 'feri betaula' (see you again) just before leaving for the airport.
isvincvar #267
02/08/13
We have quite common rules of greeting in our country - shaking hands if two men meet each other or kissing on the cheek if two women (or a man and a woman) meet. If a man want to express special awe and respect to a woman he kisses her on the hand but it's more official greeting and young people, usually don't use it.
mheredge #268
03/08/13
I think a man kissing a woman's hand is the loveliest of gestures. I think once I was greeted in this way and it was very nice.
poetria1 #269
04/08/13
Bundeskanzlerin Merkel and a hand kiss: http://www.welt.de/vermischtes/article118353823/Diese-Maenner-kuessten-Merkels-Hand.html
This is typically Polish.
Lynne Hand #270
14/08/13
isvincvar #271
25/08/13
poetria1 wrote:Bundeskanzlerin Merkel and a hand kiss: http://www.welt.de/vermischtes/article118353823/Diese-Maenner-kuessten-Merkels-Hand.html
This is typically Polish.
I'm doubting Merkel had lost her hand.
mheredge #272
25/08/13
I've found on this trip that shaking hands has been commonly used when saying goodbye to people you didn't know very well, but enjoyed their company.
Lynne Hand #273
25/08/13
Have you ever heard of the High Five, Down Low, Too Slow, greeting?
It was first performed by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1991 film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. John Connor (Edward Furlong) teaches the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to "Gimme five. Up high, down low, too slow."
//www.youtube.com/embed/7IX8fFs3CBg?rel=0
mheredge #274
26/08/13
The children scampering around some of Angkor Wat's ruins were into high fives, but just the ordinary ones.