Have Fun With English
A butcher is working in his shop, and he's real busy, when he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But a few minutes later the dog is back again. So he goes over to him and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has the money in his mouth." The butcher looks inside the dog's mouth and, lo and behold, there is a ten pound note there. So he takes the money, and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. Since it's nearly closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog to see where he goes.
The dog walks down the street and when he comes to a level crossing, puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.
The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, eventually the dog gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, the meat still in his mouth.
The dog and the butcher walk down the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and -Whap!- throws himself against it again. There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog. Yelling and swearing at him. The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? That dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for heaven's sake!", to which the guy responds,
"Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week that he's forgotten his key."
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