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Top 10 Resolutions Nerds Won't be able to Keep This Year

10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
9. I will stop sending email to my roommate.
8. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
7. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
6. When I subscribe to a news group or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
5. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
4. I resolve to back up my new 2 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
3. I will spend less than one hour a day on the net.
2. I won't try to get onto the Netscape web site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
1. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."
0. I will read the manual.
-1. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.