Learn English Free

Have Fun With English

Jokes

More vocabulary about appearances here.

Near Death Experience

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to hospital.

While on the operating table she has a near death experience. Seeing God she asks "Is my time up?"

God says, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live".

Upon making a full recovery, the woman decides to celebrate her lucky break and stay in the hospital to have a bit of plastic surgery. She books herself in for a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and dye her hair. Since she has so much more time to live, she figures she might as well make the most of it.

After her final operation, she's released from the hospital. But, while crossing the street on her way home, she is knocked down and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demands, "I thought you said I had another 40 years to live? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?" . . .

God replies...
-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you."